It's Photo Day at work today. And so the morning was nothing short of mayhem.
I got four calls over the intercom to come for my individual shoot. And every time I got there, I was sent back to my classroom to teach because they "weren't quite ready" for me, but if I'd come back in 5 minutes, they would be. (You'd think that models would be treated a little better around here. But no! It's still all about the creative genius of the camera man. Crikey.) Longest five minutes known to mankind.
I woke up this morning with a new sense of confidence. I sushid with Single Friends yesterday, you see. We're all in this newly-single boat together and so, we've decided to put those guys behind us and move forward. They're not worth it, we've worked out. And, sadly, we know we're right.
So, when photoshoot time came around, eventually, I pimped up the flirt like it's nobody's business. Photographer Person was, I am almost certain, of the male gender so I couldn't miss an opportunity.
The Pant: (using put on "sexy" voice that sounded more like I'd just woken up.) How do you want me?
Photographer Person: Sitting is just fine.
TP: Seductive sitting? 1960's vixen librarian sitting? Innocent sitting? Sitting comes in many different forms you know.
PP: Well, you want these photos for your ID, don't you?
PP: Well, then I'd go with red tape sitting.
TP: These government people. No sense of adventure. Okay, so do you want a closed-mouth or an open-mouth kiss?
PP: Neither. We've just met.
TP: I meant smile. Do you want it open or closed?
PP: No smile. Straight face.
TP: Oh. Smouldering? I can do smouldering.
PP: No smouldering. Just emotionless.
TP: S & M?
PP: Will you just sit still and let me take the photo if I say, "yes"?
PP: Stop bearing your teeth. Okay. Look at the camera. Stop pouting. Stop trying to look like a hungry tiger. Keep still. (click). Now. Please go.
The School Photographer: far too straight laced for The Pant.