Please help me! I've lost the BF, my people, to an unbelievable obsession I fear may only be replaced by the production of an actual human child.
She's fostering kitties. These precious pumpkins:
So, please, help. It's dire. Her obsession is driving me to drink (any excuse). I miss her. Last night we didn't even talk about sex once. If you drop me a mail on firstname.lastname@example.org then you'll become today's very lucky Pantaholic Winner Person (a titled that's coveted the world over) and become the owner of any one of these gorgeous six kitty-pies - (in some countries, they may even be put in pies.)
Otherwise - Happy Friday, people. I'm heading out for a night on the town with Single Friend. If you bump into two chicks that are flirting outrageously for tequila, and making up elaborate stories about our own radness in the attempts to bed 20 year-old hottie-hot-pantses - that'll be us. Come on over. But bring a round of tequilas.