I have always thought that plastic surgery was for vain people. And I'm still of that belief. But I want me some plastic surgery. Eyes. Neck (when it goes - that'll be an important thing to correct), knees (no one likes an old lady knee and, besides which, I've invested in many above-the-knee garments and so it would only be fair to said garments to provide them with suitable knees. But for the record, the knees have a good few years left in them.) And rack. I definitely need a new rack. I blame The Daughter for lack of rack. That Being-A-Good-And-Caring-Mother thing allowed her to literally suck the life out of them. And they used to have life. They had movement.
But given the fact that I am an adult now - I even wear earrings almost everyday - I think it's high time my female friends came to the party and started doing some Book Club events. We do other things: Girly Wax Night, Drink-So-Much-That-You-Stage-Karaoke-In-Your-Lounge nights, but never book club. And that's balls. Yes. Balls is what it is.
You see, last night I bore witness to The Mother's Book Club. (To be honest, I didn't bear so much witness as got heavily involved in conversations and helped finish their wine before they were ready to end the evening.) And do you know what? There wasn't a single book present. And they give each other gifts. Like The Estate Agent has just returned from China and gave everyone little coin purses. And The Businesswoman gave The Mother and Her BF Cath Kidston emergency travel packs for their plane trip on Wednesday. Like, hello! This is a book club I could get very used to.
And then they drank wine, ate very rad food, and chatted the night away. But they're elderly. And they have little staying power (well, on this occasion anyway - I've seen them see the night through and skinny dip and do their own Old Lady Version of Karaoke. Although their music is much crapper than ours.)
Isn't that just the kifferest? And not a book in sight! And absolutely no discussion about said books because, well, it's not even about books. Just drinking and being merry and giving of gifts. Now, that is an evening I can like to like. Often.
So, The Pant's Girls: we are doing Book Club this year. We've got the wrinkles. We partake of the grape. We like to eat rad food. That, to me, suggests that we've ticked all the right boxes, no?
Book club. I need.
And in other, very serious news. Jealousy had a huge ongeluk yesterday. His car is a write-off. But he's okay. So, his name has officially been changed to Carlos.
Please don't take chances on the roads, guys. My People are very important to me. I couldn't handle if anything serious happened to them.