So after my initial joy at seeing CT Hairdresser, in the flesh, I realise why we only see each other once a year. He's not one for mincing his words, is our little possum. Mincing he's damn good at. But mincing his words - not so much.
We hugged. Kissed. Cupped each other's faces in our hands and squealed phrases like "incandiverous" and "it's really you" and "you haven't changed a bit". Well, truth be told, I squealed that. And he replied with, "Your eyes are the same colour."
The Pant: Ah my precious, I've missed you so. You're looking so buff.
CT Hairdresser: You're exactly the same, Pant. Except your boobs are smaller. How does that happen?
The Pant: Your hair. It's very dark.
CT Hairdresser: And your boobs, they're tiny. Seriously, what happened?
TP: I'm not sure.
CT Hairdresser: Sheesh. Can you even wear bras anymore?
TP: Can we not talk about my boobs?
CT Hairdresser: Sure. What's with the middle parting?
TP: I thought they were in.
CT Hairdresser: Yes. In the mid-90's. Come here. Let me sort that out.
TP: My hair's got too thick to wear it in a side-parting. I look lob-sided. See?
CTH: Yes. You do. Let's try the other side. Oh. No no no. Perhaps a clip?
After a gruelling twenty minutes of looking over me - Your arse is still smallish, What's with that top? Who chose those shoes? - we settled down to dinner.
CTH: Still a feeder, I see.
TP: Yup, nothing has changed. I could, if you like, pretend like I've overdished and say something along the lines of, "I have no idea how I'm going to finish all of this" but-
CTH: We both know you'd be lying.
And then we did the two hours of catching up - The Daughter is gorgeous. You've lost so much weight. Do you remember when you used to be straight? Do you remember the bouncer at Roman Lounge? What was her name? Bobby? Hated you because you looked too much like a girl.
And then, my favourite thing of the whole evening happened. The holiday caught up with me, and his busy life caught up with him.
CTH: Did you catch Grey's on Monday night?
TP: No. I had people over for dinner.
CTH: You want to watch it? I'm dying to see what happens with Torres' baby and how Lexi is going to cope with McDreamy doing this to her twice.
TP: Me too.
So we snuggled up on the couch, my legs over his and watched Grey's Except I don't think we saw the end.
And that's the beauty of my Cape Town Hairdresser. He may not mince his words (but he's given me a fresh desire to tone up on them roads). But we just got to be. And that's pretty rad.