I'm not sure I'm the kind of person that wants to share mine with the world. Or even the family. I'm just not all that interested in public failure. And there's a likelihood that I will fail. So if you don't know what I'm going to do, then you won't know that I haven't done it and you'll have less to judge me on.
I'd kind of decided that I was going to "celebrate" the end of 2010 in a way that I felt most appropriate - I was going to wash an Azor down with a glass of water (maybe even sparkling) at 7.00pm and be asleep with The Daughter by 7.12pm (those things work with the speed of a mongoose) because I felt that I had very little to celebrate. I realise that that's not true. And also I've forgotten the Azors at home.
There's lots to be celebrated. For example the end of post-break-up anorexia has seen the return of the breast. Look, they're not enormous, by anyone's standards. But at least it's evident that I've been through puberty. I may even start wearing a bra again. (I think that was last year's resolution. Fail. Big style.)
But in all honesty, my life is rich. I am surrounded by super radness all the time: in my home, with my family, at work and I'm in many people's hearts. That's cool. It's better than cool. It's Moet-swigging-super-effing-radness.
So instead of deciding on resolutions (I have two burning ones, I'll tell you about them when I succeed) I thought it would be therapeutic and exceptionally post-modern to reflect upon and be reflexive about my shortcomings in 2010.
It's The Pant's 2010 Confession Session. Allow me.
1. I wore the same knickers twice in a row while away one weekend. (Not out of choice, mind you.) I turned them inside out but still. In 2011 I will pack the night before so as to avoid similar situations. Or maybe I'll learn to rock commando.
2. I have a number of totally unworn garments in my cupboard. In 2011 I shall be more selective in my shopping. And wear these garments. Maybe.
3. I did not buy the jumpsuit at Forever New. I haven't stopped thinking about it. I will buy it and rock it like it's nobody's business.
4. I tried to control fate. Silly girl.
5. I stopped having fun. I am fun. And I'm spending 2011 in pursuit of it.
6. I loved entirely. I'll do that again. Because that's who I am.
7. I stopped loving my job. I will fall in love with it again, by putting my heart back into it.
8. I gave up netball. I'm starting that bad dog again. Regardless of weak knees and a total lack of co-ords.
9. I got dronk vir driet at The Prawn Shack. Not again. Noone likes an unhappy drunk.
And while we're doing this whole get-stuff-off-my-chest thing:
10. I texted Larry tonight. I heard he had a miserable Christmas. I wished him a happy belated Christmas and expressed my hopes that his 2011 would be a truly happy one. I loved him/love him (not quite sure on the tense there). It made me sad to hear that he's been miserable. He was my people once. And then I only wanted what was best for him, so why should I not want that now? The cool thing is I really do hope that he finds happiness. (I just hope it's not some leggy blonde hussy. I'm not sure the peace in my heart could stretch around that.)
Bring on 2011 with clean knickers, overwhelming love, off-the-charts fun and a new jumpsuit. Bring it on with Moet.
<3 <3 <3
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