No Regina, No Love.

How is this acceptable? A couple - maybe three - weeks ago, I ordered the first Regina Spektor album online. It was supposed to arrive tomorrow.

Now I'd planned a little reunion for Regina & me. (My feelings for Regina are bordering on inappropriate and I'm sure if I had the joy of bumping into her in real life, I'd probably get arrested for trying to slip her some amorous tongue.). But I love her. And real love lasts a lifetime (absolutely no dig at Larry intended).

I'd planned a whole evening, in fact. Something a little like this:

1) Put The Daughter to bed.

2). Invite the BF, my people, over for large glass of festive wine.

3). Discuss ineffectiveness of attempted Festive Diet.

4). Feel depressed. Pour another large glass of festive wine. Devour entire block of Le Petit brie.

5). Try on Christmas clothes.

6). Try on each other's Christmas clothes.

7). Try on clothes from high school.

8). Pour third glass of really large festive wine.

9). Try on school uniform.

10). Pour fourth glass of effing large super effing festive wine.

11). Declare mutual love but remind each other that it's not the alcohol talking.

12). Put Regina on.

13). Grab deodorant bottles. Sing at top volume to mirror. Laugh. Secretly think that we'd do a better job on stage.

14). Drink 3rd bottle directly from neck.

15). Fall over. Giggle.

16). Attempt book reading.

17). Fall asleep with bedside light on and book on face.

Now, does that not sound like the perfect way to welcome the BF and Regina back into one's life?

Well, that would be exactly what I'd be doing come December 3rd, if it wasn't for that silly person from Zoot who emailed me this morning and told me I couldn't have it. The day before it's due to arrive! The effing day before! It could have been a Christmas present! It was a Christmas present! For Bounced-Back-Super-Effing-Rad Pant.

I hate that person. I hope they get those little bathroom packs from Clicks instead of what they really wanted. I hope they burn their Christmas turkey.

In better news, the sun was out - scrap that - IS out. And The Daughter is the most glorious holiday companion in the world. There is nothing that touches a mother more than bearing witness to her child's tangible thrill and excitement.

LG, baby!!

Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!